Goodbye 2008

Ah, 2008. Another year gone. Another year gone too fast.

It's always interesting writing a year introspective. It's like opening a present... you never know what you will find underneath the layers.

This has been the first year in a long time where I haven't moved, or traveled. The story of my life for the last few years has been movement. Going here and there. I never knew exactly what the next month would hold. But this year, except for a few trips up the island and to the mainland, has been here in Victoria. Stationary. This was the year of goals.

Ever since I graduated from University I have gone by whim. Applying for jobs, moving cities and countries, trips, parties... it has all been with whatever my mood was at the time. Even when I got stuck as it were, it was because of my attitude at the time.

But this year, I made goals. I credit my mentor group. I highly recommend mentor groups. They are extremely motivating if for no other reason than you do things because you don't want to look like an idiot or lazy in front of other people. I am pretty proud to say that I accomplished most of my goals this year.

1/ School.
After waffling for quite awhile, I finally decided to leave the boring office job (somewhat, for I can't afford to be jobless) and go back to school. And not just school in general. I decided to go back to be a photographer, a long unrealized life ambition. It hasn't been easy and there have certainly moments when I have wanted to give up. School is hard to go back to, especially when you are used to having money and then suddenly, having none. I am now a mature student and hanging out with 18 years sure can make a girl feel old. But overall, it has been a totally rewarding experience. Challenging. It is amazing how much I have learned.

2/ Dance
You think I would have always done this. I certainly have danced around my apartment enough. But it was finally this year that I realized that I would never go to the gym and if I was going to do the workout thing, it was going to have to be doing something I enjoyed. So I signed up for belly dance and flamenco lessons. I'm not a natural dancer but I work hard and I enjoy it like nothing else I have ever done. It is rewarding because you can feel yourself getting better.

3/ Volunteer
I've had to quit for the time being because of school but for 6 months, I volunteered with immigrants learning English as a second language. Simply put, the funniest people I have ever met. And nothing will give you a new perspective on your culture than from immigrants. I can't wait until I have time to do it again.

4/ Health
This is ongoing but I'm trying to eat better and take better care of myself. But some weeks are good and some are bad. But my group makes sure that it is always on my mind.

The only goal I set that I never accomplished is taking French classes. I did try but the class didn't run because of a lack of students. I figure, I've done pretty well with the other goals... one undone isn't too bad.

It's been an interesting year. My years in Japan were so big just because of the personal growth. It's not something that can be measured but being challenged on a daily basis does good things for a person. This year, I don't think I've grown that much. It's been more of a take stock year. But I know one thing for certain. My gypsy tendencies have not gone away. I long to leave again.

It's just a matter of figuring out how to make it happen.

I'm planning a quiet night to celebrate 2008. I don't go out for New Years anymore. It feels too contrived. Fun is only fun when it is spontaneous, not forced. So, I will stay at home and wait for 2009. New start. New goals. New outlook. New motivation. And perhaps, somewhere in the future, new locale. Only time can tell.

Happy New Year.
S.

Kiva

I made a donation to Kiva today and if you have an extra 25 bucks, it would be fabulous if you could too.

S.

WARNING: Don't read if you are a big fan of Christmas

I woke up at 6am this morning. The dream had awoken me. The dream featured me getting into a fight with someone about how wasteful Christmas lights are. Apparently even in my dreams I can't stand Christmas.

5 years. I think it's been 5 years. 5 years ago the decision was made- no more presents. My sister and I decided that. We tend to make these alternate society decision together. We basically decided there was only 2 reasons to celebrate. One - religious. Us- so not religious. Two - mass consumerism. Yeah.... I'm so down with mass consumerism.

And with no more presents came a shift to December. Suddenly, there was no more stress. There was no more haunting the mall. There was no more worrying about the perfect present or if your present is nicer or crappier than the other persons.

I thought it was great. Christmas could just be about a nice dinner with the family. Except, you take away the presents, all of a sudden the whole thing about the season loses its luster. It becomes a caricature. Santa becomes a symbol for the over indulgence of our society and our trying to buy traditions with fancy paper and mounds of chocolate.

People call me a grinch. Fine. But seriously, all I can think is how can someone possibly want a real Christmas tree. With the global warming epidemic, why on earth would you cut down a emission fighting tree just so it can die slowly in your house gaudily covered with tinsel? And OMG the paper. Sure you recycle the paper, but the first R is reduce! And don't get me started on the amount of plastic bags used during this season.

I know people would argue with me and say that Christmas isn't about those things, that it is about family. I don't get that either. There are only two types of families at Christmas. First, there is the fabulous type that you just can't wait to see. So my question is why do you need a certain season to see these fabulous people? Why can't you be a family person all year long? The second is the I can't believe I have to spend another season with my family, they make me crazy. And my question to this is- why even freakin' bother? If you don't like the people, why on earth would you spend days with them when you don't have the excuse of escaping to work?

But don't worry, you can buy love. Just find that special gadget.

I also don't get the dinner but that isn't the environmental, anti consumer me. That is the vegatarian me. I won't get into it.

On this exciting note, I have decided to forgo family this year. No christmas. No family. No gifts. Sounds lovely. Basically, my parents are spending their holidays with their other families. I was invited but one is going to be filled with children spoiled beyond belief and the other family, well, would make me want to stick a knife in my eye.

I'm spending the day at my friend's. They will eat goat (I don't get it, but they are from Saskatchewan, and thus defy definition). I will drink. Sounds like a good way to pass the time.

And I've already decided. I'm spending next year somewhere that Christmas doesn't exist. Or maybe exists in a different fashion. For example, Christmas in Japan involves eating a strawberry topped white cake and then having sex.

Just saying...

S.

Things Happen for a Reason

It is snowing in Victoria. This makes me very sad.

Anyways, this isn't what the post is about. I just thought I'd comment on how much little white stuff from above makes me an unhappy girl.

I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. Not in a religious sort of way. More like, subconsciously you knew that these things needed to be and thus, made it happen that way.

When I was in Japan, I got a promotion. With it came about a 300 dollar raise per month. Except that suddenly, I went from part time to full time. And with full time came paying into health care and the national pension. So basically, I got 20 bucks a month more to do a shit load more work.

Sucky? Yes. But because I was not planning on living in Japan my whole life (yeah, right) I could cash out the pension when I left the country. It was brilliant. Like enforced savings.

For the whole year I was a supervisor, I safe guarded my little blue pension book. It was like holy mecca. The key to the money. The reason for all my suffering. Kept safe in my desk at work and when the time came to leave, safely transported home.

Except when I returned to Canada, there was no blue book. I went through everything! EVERYTHING! It was no where. And thus, all that money that I had slaved for evaporated.

I called the company. They couldn't do anything. I called my old boss. She tried to get me a new book but because she wasn't family, nothing could be done. I needed to do it but they only spoke Japanese.

Alas.

Eight hundred dollars of pension down the tubes. Move on. It's just money.

Fast forward a year. I finally have gotten over the fact that the money is gone. I should just throw out all the forms to claim the money. I pull out the folder and dump the contents. And there. In the middle of all the forms. In clearly, the only place I didn't check. Out slid a tiny blue book with Japanese writing on it. Pension!

Yes, it was an OMG OMG OMG moment.

So, I filled it out and sent it away. And nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Months.

I despair. It got lost in the mail (I don't have the greatest confidence in Canada Post). My friend emails me that she sent hers in July (I sent mine in May) and she had gotten a letter about it already. I figure that this money is not meant to be.

I focus on studying. But school is expensive and I have gotten used to living on much more money. And then the day comes. I have 30 dollars in my savings and 1 in my chequing and a whole hell of a lot on my credit card. Broke my friends. I went home. Opened my mailbox. And there inside was a letter with Japanese writing.

My pension was on its way. Check the date. It was going to appear in my account the next day! And... go to xe.com and work out the conversion... it is over double what I had expected.

So the money came and I have been saved for the rest of the year. Happy day.

If I had gotten the money last year or even last summer, I would have blown it. It came the day I truly needed it. Perhaps the book knew this and that is why I couldn't find it for so long.

S.

Argh

So I finally went for my first physical. Yes, I know I'm 28 and it is long overdue. In my defense, I did go for 2 semi-physicals in Japan but the results were in ... well... Japanese. And personal health is a bit awkward to have someone translate for you.

The physical was fine. The not fine thing. I'm anemic. Yup, I guess not eating meat for 6 years will do that to a girl. I mean I eat seafood and beans but I guess it's not enough. So now I'm on iron pills.

Iron pills that do a number on my stomach.

Health. Why can't it just be easy???

S.

My First Job

Oh yes. That goal that all aspiring photographers yearn for... money for their photos. Say whatever you want, but it truly is what distinguishes the amateur from the pro.

About two months ago I was offered a job photographing Island Saving's Christmas party. It was not offered to me by my mom (who works there) so therefore it is legit. Naturally, the only words out of my mouth were "hell, ya."

I sort of forgot about it and then all of a sudden, the time has passed, and the party is staring me straight in the eye. There first thing I have to note is that photographers have far too much gear. As I was packing it up to head up island, I realized that if my mom hadn't offered to give me a ride to Nanaimo, there was no way in hell I would have gotten it all up there.

So fine, I go to Nanaimo and there I am setting up. The lighting is shitty in the conference center. The guy who came to talk to me showed me the dimmers. He walked away and I immediately cranked all the lights in the vicinity. My assistant Bonnie showed up at 5:30 and by that time, people had already lined up to get their photos taken.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate people?

Especially those girls that think they are super hot, but really are wearing tranny type makeup. I have to give it to them though, they can hit the same pose each and every time. I know, because they kept coming up for more and more pictures.

I was supposed to print on site. Which, had I thought about it, is a stupid thing and puts too much pressure on the photographer. But I didn't and at 9 pm I was attempting to print. Except the printer provided was a free one that someone at Island Savings had gotten with their computer. It printed 3 good prints and then every one after that came out red with lines through the face. Which made me look really professional in front of all the drunk people demanding their photos.

The photos? Some are great. Some are soft. Some have bad backgrounds. Oh well, I sure didn't get paid enough for perfection.

But I sure did learn.

S.